Dear Srimati Krishangi Devi,
Please accept my blessings and well-wishes.
As I have told you many times, the information contained on our website scsmathglobal.com is sufficient to answer all questions about Krishna Consciousness, if you will utilize it properly. How that is done has been explained repeatedly from many angles of vision by me and by the acharyas in the line of Sri Chaitanya Saraswati (the spiritual succession of Sri Krishna Chaitanya that is connected with Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakura).
One must approach their gurudeva seeking spiritual wealth via the medium of pranipata, pariprashna and seva. It is a very simple process, as explained here by Srila Sridhara Maharaja:
tad viddhi pranipatena
upadeksyanti te jnanam
Pranipat means that one approaches a spiritual master, saying, “I am finished with the experience of this external world; I have no charm for anything in this plane, where I have already traveled. Now I am offering myself exclusively at your altar. I want to have your grace.” In this mood we should approach that higher knowledge.
Pariprasna means honest, sincere inquiry. We must inquire not with the tendency of discussion or in the mood of argument, but all our efforts should be concentrated in a positive line to understand the truth, without the spirit of doubt and suspicion. With full attention we should try to understand that truth, because it is coming from a higher plane of reality that we have never known.
Finally, there is sevaya, or service. This is the most important thing. We are trying to gain this knowledge not so we can get the help of that plane, not so we can utilize that experience for living here; rather we must give our pledge to serve that plane. Only with this attitude may we approach that plane of knowledge. We shall serve that higher knowledge; we won’t try to make it serve us. Otherwise, we won’t be allowed to enter into that domain. Absolute knowledge won’t come to serve this lower plane. We must offer ourselves to be used by Him, not that we shall try to use Him in our own selfish way, to satisfy our lower purpose.
—Sri Guru and His Grace
Two more foundational principles have been revealed through the line of Sri Chaitanya Saraswati. Srila Sridhara Maharaja has elaborated upon them in Sermons of the Guardian of Devotion, Vol. I, “He can only be served through His devotees… Real devotion is unconditional”:
Aslisya va padaratam pinastu mam, adarsanan marmahatam karotu va: our duty is to devote ourselves cent-per-cent and most intensely for Him. We are only to serve Him. And service does not mean that we must necessarily come into direct contact with Him. Remote service is also service; through His devotee it becomes tangible. We should try to serve Him through His devotees, without expectation of any reward. We should have no desire except to serve, even without expecting to see Him once, to have His darsana. We shall only want to be utilized by Him. The little energy we have must be utilized for His cause. We are His potency, and we should prove that we belong to Him. Mahaprabhu says, “He may embrace me or reject me, or He may even be indifferent towards me. Whatever He likes, He may do, but I have no alternative but to serve Him.” We must adopt such an exclusive and unconditional attitude. Not that, “If He doesn’t want to reciprocate according to my will, I won’t like to approach Him; so I shall join the atheists or the mayavadis. If You don’t come forward to satisfy me, then I shall seek my own way – I don’t want You!” If there is any tinge of such an attitude, we are far, far away.
Yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato, matprananathas tu sa eva naparah. “We have no alternative but to serve You.” To search means to serve: ‘I want to be utilized for His cause. However petty the service may be, nothing is petty when in His connection, the least connection, even from far away. He need not please me, even by giving His darsana in a lightning way. Everything depends on His will.”
Unconditional offering unto Him shows faith of the highest type. If our offering is conditional, we shall have to remain far from Him. The characteristic of the highest faith is absolutely unconditional: “I am only to be satisfied with just the chance to serve Him from afar, through some medium; or many mediums, not only one. Dasa-dasa-dasanudasatvam – servant of the servant of the servant of the servant . . . I have His connection from afar, and my energy passes through the devotees, towards Him, towards the center of fulfillment. Whatever my position may be, I want my connection with the greatest fulfillment of the whole world!” Everyone is searching for such fulfillment of all their innermost necessities.
I keep repeating the same things to you over and over again, things that are obvious, clear and discussed at length by our acharyas. Yet, you fail to comprehend them. This means you are not following the process sufficiently to catch even the most basic points. You are completely unresponsive; like one intoxicated or deaf.
Your phone calls and emails to me during the last few weeks have been of little or no value to you. Rather, I believe them to be harmful because they only increase your false pride and offensive attitude.
I have grown weary of these interactions and will not allow them to continue. Therefore, I will not accept your phone calls or direct emails. Emails sent directly by you to me will be delivered to my junk mail folder and deleted without my reading them, as I did some years ago when your behavior with me was unacceptable.
If you have any questions, you may ask Sriman Uddharan or Sriman Gokulananda to help you. If you believe something requires my personal attention, you may ask them to forward your questions or concerns to me for consideration. In other words, you should rely fully upon their mercy in the manner of dasa-dasa-dasanudasatvam. If they will be merciful to you, you will be greatly fortunate; but I will not be directly involved with you unless I see some positive benefit for you through such direct dealings.
I pray this finds you well in health and spirits.
Swami B.K. Giri