My dear ____________ ,
Please accept my blessings and well-wishes.
You show many things; some external, some internal, some mixed. I described some of each.
By faith and surrender to Sri Guru we will come to know our real nature, our internal nature. That nature you have, and it is very beautiful. Srila Sridhara Maharaja said it is “our golden selves”:
Our tendency at present is to cure what we see on the outside. We think, “I want everything to follow my control, my sweet will. When everything obeys me, then I will be happy.” But we must take just the opposite attitude. As Mahaprabhu has said:
trinad api sunicena
taror api sahisnuna
kirtaniyah sada harih
We should create no resistance against our environment. Still, if some undesirable things come towards us, we should tolerate that with our utmost patience. And even if someone attacks us we won’t become violent; we must practice forbearance to the extreme. We shall honor everyone; we will seek no honor.
In this way, with the least amount of energy and time we can attain the highest goal: the plane where Krsna Himself is living. That is the most fundamental plane of existence. At that time, all the encasements covering the soul will vanish and die, and the inner soul will awaken and find that he is playing in a sweet wave, dancing and merrymaking in Vrndavana, with Krsna and his devotees. And what is Vrndavana? It is neither a fable, nor a concocted story. The broadest and widest plane of the whole universe is beauty, sweetness, and blissfulness, and that is present in Vrndavana in all its fullness. We have to dive deep into that plane of reality.
Our ego has floated us on the surface of trouble in maya, illusion. Concoction, and the search for selfish satisfaction have taken us here, and these must be dissolved once and for all. And then from within, our golden selves will come out, and we will find that we are in the plane of a happy dancing mood, with Krsna in Vrndavana. (The Search For Sri Krsna)
Our false ego is dark and dirty. It is presently covering our real ego, our spiritual golden self. There is an injunction that tells us we should accept gold, even from a filthy place. When the dirt is washed away the beauty, brilliance and value of the gold is revealed. The process for washing away our dirt is called sadhana, and sadhana means serving our guru with surrender, faith and devotion. Only by that method will our inner beauty be fully revealed.
You know these things, but you forgot; temporarily. I am happy to hear that you are again remembering these important points.
Tomorrow marks the 34th. anniversary of the day I received sannyasa from Srila Sridhara Maharaja. I received the mantra from His Divine Grace and, at the same time, I accepted him not only as my sannyasa guru, but also my siksha guru. If I have any credit for helping you see things properly, it is all by his grace, coupled with that of Srila Prabhupada and Srila Govinda Maharaja. By their grace I have also come in connection with many sincere souls, practitioners and mentors in the school of Krishna Consciousness who have also blessed me in countless ways with their friendship and example. Add to these our holy scriptures and we can see that Krishna, the infinite, has come to help us in infinite ways. By His Grace we are surrounded by infinite auspiciousness. All around us are so many helpers and guardians who are all our well-wishers, urging us to proceed onwards to our eternal home in the land of Sri Vrndavana dhama.
You have learned a good lesson. Now, do not forget it. We must make mistakes, but we should diligently try to learn from them, and not repeat them. May it be so for you.
I pray this finds you well in all respects.
Your ever well-wisher,
Swami B.K. Giri