Oh Giri Maharaj, I am suffering in such Hellish pain day in and out. I am in sheer terror, please pray that Krsna lets me leave my body!
The material body is always giving us various pains and pleasures, sometimes great, sometimes small. These are temporary and we must try our best to tolerate them.
I cannot pray to Krishna to let you leave your body. That is like asking Krishna to let you commit suicide. Suicide is a sin because it is an attempt to deny Krishna control over our lives. Our bodies are not ours, they are His, to be used for His seva. During the course of our seva attempts there will be many obstacles; bodily pains and pleasures are two such obstacles. We must tolerate them with the knowledge that Krishna will decide what is best for us, whether we live or die; suffer or enjoy.
But we will not die.
We may leave this body and be given another body suitable to our state of consciousness. In this body, and in our next body, or our next life, we must try always to remember that Krishna is our Lord and Master and tolerate all kinds of pains and sufferings, thinking them to be the result of our previous sins.
Srila Sridhara Maharaja spoke these words (83.05.29):
Do your duty. ‘When I have got no right in the fruit, in the result, consequence, then why shall I do,’ don’t be misguided by this insane tendency. Be active, fully, but whole energy must be in your duty there, fully awake to your duty. Don’t allow yourself to go to sleep, dullness, apathy. There you will find the relativity of the perfect world standing firmly in your centre.
tat te ‘nukampam sushamikshamano, bhunjäna evätma-krtam vipäkam
hrd-väg-vapurbhir vidhadhan namas te, jiveta yo mukti-pade sa däya bhäk
Lord Brahmä says: “One who, in the hope of achieving Your grace, goes on enduring the inauspicious fruit of his own karma, and passes his days practising devotion unto You in every thought, word, and deed – such a person is heir to the land of freedom: he attains to the plane of positive immortality.” (Srimad-Bhägavatam, 10.14.8)
Continue practicing devotion to Sri Sri Guru Gauranga and sooner or later you will get relief from all the pains and sufferings of this world.
Swami B.K. Giri